Accidents – “Drive carefully na baba” 27 November 2007

When i initially started to go to school on my Kinetic i used to have quite a bit of touches here and there…. I had a major accident once on that kinetic…. but apart from that nothing much…. I used to drive the vehicle to the limit and i think, at that time, i didn’t care my life that much too…. That relieved the pressure and i could follow what i loved to do with 100% freedom…. It was that 1 hr of drive each day that helped me keeping the fire inside alive…. But it was a devil in the making…. Gradually i became a Ghost Rider and was suffering from risk addiction….

Now after 5/6 years I live thousands of km away from my family and I kick myself to have experienced that thrill…. The thing is that now i care a lot about my life…. Its not that i have started to love my life…. no its not it…. but i fear for my parents…. And to put the icing on the cake i bought a Karizma…. The damn bike doesn’t come to terms before 60kmph And it is so smooth one doesn’t realize when one is near the limits…. Luckily the bike has awesome balance and braking system which has saved me a lot of times but not on 26 November evening…. I was returning home after a usual casual day at office…. My team-lead disclosed it to team that i m leaving – that was the only different thing that happened that day…. nothing else…. I took out the bike and was driving carefully upto the Trinity Circle…. It was red but still cars were breaking the signal and taking turns…. I was in a hurry that i too get through and in that i ignored a Maruti Omni coming straight from the lane for turning right….. We both were in wrong lanes…. result…. crash….

I was kicked in the back by the car and i fell on the right side…. For a moment everything stopped and i was lying on the road thinking why the hell did i drive that fast…. Now i think i recalled the starting scene of Fight Club…. When u r in a state of shock, all u think is just shit…. For a sec i knew that the car was behaving weirdly…. I contradicted my own rule…. “Allow others to pass” and hence suffered the fate…. Result…. bruised right knee…. which of late has started to pain and burn…. a bits of cuts on the left one too…. torn jeans…. torn shoes…. and bike getting a blow on the top right side…. luckily nothing much for the bike…. I have done the required first aid and all but I have made my last days here in Qwest a little difficult…. Now i can’t do what i love doing in office the most…. play TT

Today was a tough day at office…. after a weird ride to office ( i stubbornly decided to take by bike) now siting on the chair too is a pain…. whole day i have tried to keep my leg straight and any undue bending causes pain…. i know that its going to be that way but now somehow…. i don’t like pain…. i don’t want to give in to pain…. i want to fight it…. i m therefore against painkillers…. Its a test or a way in which i vaccinate myself…. so today the best i could do was to play carrom and watch others play TT…. this went on till 7 PM when i realized that its time to take control…. i can’t let the injury take away from me the opportunity to play for the last times in Qwest…. I have made really good friends here and its difficult to part from them…. i know life moves on but…. chalo…. anyways I started playing doubles pairing with Ratan opposite Vancie and Reddy…. the first game was taken to deuce when we lost…. the guys were apologizing whenever they pushed the ball far from me but i urged them not to play with a sympathetic heart…. last thing i want is sympathy…. its not that bad a situation where i need some…. i can handle it…. and then the next game onwards we won 3 in succession…. can u believe it Reddy and Vancie beaten by a langda and Ratan thrice and that too convincingly…. consider it a fluke??? have this…. then i played 3 matches with Abhishek and that too i won convincingly…. then i beat Vancie in a match…. r all these flukes???? nope…. they are not…. i m not saying that i play really good TT or m boosting about myself but then when u have the pressure of facing the consequences of loosing gone then u can play, as sachin says, “khulke” (freely) and that was the reason i guess…. these guys have crushed me before ruthlessly…. but today it was something different…. and my leg too was feeling OK….

Lesson : “Do what u love, no matter what the consequences are”

Gujju Law : “For Girls, Beauty x Brains / Ego = Constant. In case of Girls its true in 99.4754% cases” :)

7 November 2007

Of late i have become a misogynist…. Some of the past incidences have forced me to be one…. Seeing Basic Instinct II today was the final nail in the Coffin…. Girls are a strict no no and all they can bring in life for you is glimpse of hope and stack full of pains and disappointments At the current moment all i can recall is a Akshay Kumar Dialogue which meant something like this – “Hum jis ladki ke peeche honge woh hame ghaas ka patta na de aur jis ladki ko hum pasand aaye woh kisko chahiye” Might sound too arrogant or so but in a way there lies bits of truth in it…. Everyone must have witnessed many marriages around in the neighborhood back in hometown…. I find it pretty strange how tapori guys like me find really beautiful and smart girls in marriage…. But when u roam around in city all u get is the kachra of the city…. In colleges, hotels, jobs, parks everywhere what we find usually is that kind of crowd which has a poor sex ratio and the quality of girls too is so so

Well about the Law we have a simple rule which every IITian will agree with – Beauty x Brains = constant as none of those who land in IIT are can be categorized as a show-stealer…. But once in a blue moon we do have some who are really beautiful who violate the law Beauty x Brains = Constant…. These have high ego…. So all in all if Ego too is brought into picture we’ll have a well balanced equation…. No hard feelings towards girls…. But if u ask yourselves u’ll find….”ke main sach bol raha hoon”

The Alchemist – Paulo Coelho 25 Nov 2007

Asad Malaviya (The name 99% of you must not be knowing) is one of by best friends. I consider him to be a couple of tiers above others in terms of intellect…. He’s the one whom i bank upon for several discrepancies or issues…. His simple analysis and logical thinking makes things a lot less complicated and tackling feasible…. He once advised me to read a book named ‘The Alchemist’ by Paulo Coelho – according to him the book contains answers for all the questions from life, work, relationship, etc…. At first i thought that is it possible to generalize all these problems and have an elixir that cures all the problems…. Didn’t sound too convincing but the confidence with which he urged me to have a look at that book told me that the book deserves atleast a brief go if not the whole reading…. I promised him that i’ll have a look at the book asap…. I found it at one of the common street-vendors for 40 bucks…. not that bad a deal…. I can anyday exchange the book for 20 bucks atleast….

The book starts with a shepherd boy who does his usual stuff i.e. grazing his sheep in the nomadic lands of Spain when suddenly his heart starts to ask questions regarding his destiny…. He comes to know that his ‘real’ treasure lies buried nearby the Pyramids of Egypt and then he starts on his quest…. Along the way he comes across many scenarios where he’s offered challenges…. He bravely faces each obstacle and learns the lessons which one needs to to survive in this practical world…. simultaneously he also follows his heart to find the meaning to his life…. He uses his brain and foresightedness to pull him out of tricky situations and in the end…. step by step he gains the wealth of knowledge to untangle his life…. He learns that he like other human beings like other animals and plants and like other inanimate objects have been created out of the single entity or thing and everything has to return back to that one thing…. life returns back to earth…. after millions of such life cycles the earth too will return back 2 the universe and universe too will go back to the point of creation…. cycle goes on…. one has in his heart the closest ‘thing’ that unites him with the ultimate soul…. The soul that represents the naked form of every object or entity…. Human beings have been lucky enough to have evolved a lot than other animals and plants and inanimate objects and have the power to think…. They have the ability to follow what they like as they r the most superior species and they have the freedom to follow their will…. It is debatable that the ability of humans to have loads of desires helps them or doesn’t but it does atleast provide them with an opportunity to help themselves and gain pleasure by following their desires…. The inner instincts asks person many questions and the answers provide him with loads of satisfaction…. It is similar to the plants obtaining nutrition, thus growing and an engine being injected fuel to push ahead…. It can be considered a necessary condition in some cases but definitely not the sufficient one…. The more one listens to his heart, the more the heart trusts the person and gives him signals or omens…. If one can decipher those he can help one’s self greatly…. If one doesn’t then the heart slowly gives in and stops sending signals….

Another important thing that the book said was that those who try to be alchemists never become one…. only those who follow the practices without expecting it to happen become…. As a saying in Hindi – “Karm kar, fal ki aasha mat kar”…. Only those have been successful who have pursued what they love wholeheartedly…. not those who pursue something because it is bound to bring success…. In life line boundaries need to be drawn for things one is supposed to do and for those territories which one doesn’t want to be in….

My First Marriage Proposal :) 11-11-2007

Finally after loads of thought as to what i should do and what i shouldn’t i decided to go home and enjoy diwali with family…. My family needed me and the festival would have been a lack-luster event had i not been there…. Returning today and brooding over the events that happened… brings a smile on my face….

Went there for 4.5 days…. Diwali day went in usual diwali rituals and stuffs…. The next day (new Year day) too went as a normal new year day – meeting relatives and relishing sweets …. But the show stealer was sunday evening (11th Nov 2007)…. after lunch around 3 PM pops told me that he’s scheduled a “chhokri jovano” occasion (for Marriage seeing a girl) at one of the places…. I was expecting it of late but not like this…. it was like…. everything muted for a couple of seconds after he said so….. I was like…. “khudko to sambhal nahi sakte ladki kya sambhalenge”…. Seriously…. Everyone is frustrated in the world and think that one should get settled asap…. but for me…. my future is still undecided…. i don’t know where i m going….. don’t know what to do…. and getting married and all is a bit too much to remove my solitude… mom gave me an option that if i like a girl i can be engaged to her and can extend it for a year or so…. at first it sounded cool…. Also it wasn’t required from my side to commit this early No point thinking much this early…. But the only reason i agreed was because pops had given commitment and so i went to keep his word……

So around 4.30PM we left our home…. Her home’s in chandkheda (which is some 15/20 km from our place) all along the way i was thinking what’s gonna happen and how things are gonna shape up…. in the background i also recalled about Priya but now its past…. no point thinking much about it…. Dad knew that they lived somewhere along the new CG Road.. So once we entered the road dad called Dr Madhubhai (her father) and he led us to his place… We parked the car outside the society and carried on…. We were received by the girl’s mom, supposedly girl’s brother and supposedly girl’s sister all comforted each other and greeted happy diwali in a way that everyone knew all since birth but i guess thats the drama that happens everytime when meets like these happen…. One more thing…. Dad told me that Dr Madhubhai is a very cool calm guy and likes to talk it out…. So i went in with a preparation that I too am no less and considered it a battle to be won tooth and nail…. No hard feelings though, its just one of those usual personal tests i do on myself….

Before going to their place i asked mom what all things need to be considered…. she said :
1) Girl’s Family – What dad does, bro/sis do and how well they are placed
2) Girl’s House – How sound they are financially (We don’t have dowry funda back in Gujarat)
3) Girl’s Education and looks
4) (Added by me) Her maturity and attitude towards life

We settled ourselves on the comfortable sofa-set they had and started admiring their place…. It was a nice home…. It was one of those rare occasions when i found a home to be as good as ours…. with well placed furniture and nicely contrasted varnish…. all in all house was pretty good…. Requirement #2 meted out fine…. Her pops was a doc and her bro as well as sis were doing their medical…. All in all a pretty well educated and well placed family…. Requirement #1 also fulfilled…. for around 30 minutes odd we discussed about them and us and their home and all…. Her brother was pretty quiet…. No issues…. the other girl who sat near the dining table was much into her TV…. surprisingly for most of the part she was watching the ‘Detailed Analysis’ of the Indo-Pak cricket match that India won…. We went around to have a look at their home…. had similar configuration as that of ours…. one hall/dining/bedroom/kitchen on the ground floor and on the second floor it had 2/3 rooms with very bright colours…. in a way it looked pretty cool in a way a little flashy too…. in one of the rooms i guess was the girl whom we had come to see…. I didn’t look much at her just had a glimpse…. It looked like she was studying something…. I tried to be a ‘dahyo damro chhokro’ and just walked down the stairs back to the place i was seated…. I guess we had loads of this superficial talks and came back on track…. After another brief chat and then there was a pause…. I felt awkward and broke the ice by admiring the painting in front of me…. I was kicking myself for raising such an idiotic topic but in the anxiety and tension i just couldn’t think much Again some few sentences spoken and then a pause…. i was gesturing with my sis and then her dad asked her mom – “Bolo?” (i.e. say wat to do)…. She said “Jamine jao” (have dinner) i was like…. all here are doing this for the first time…. Then her dad started introducing each other one by one – first his wife then the son and then he said that the girl sitting there is his daughter who completed the 7th sem of EC at DDIT till now i was thinking that the girl studying upstairs was the one…. All the equations broke…. All calculations were rendered inconsequential…. I was so ashamed or felt shy that i didn’t even look at her… I was lost by that time…. again some pause and then mom told “chalo jaiye”…. I thought isn’t the guy asked to sit and talk with the girl…. we went out wished each other a very happy new year…. We went out and started to wear the footwear…. i was tied my shoelace when my dad whispered – if u wana have a chat u can have it…. I too thought lets have a brief chat…. Atleast i’ll come to know what a girl thinks and all….

I went inside and sat down on the sofa where i sat before…. The girl came and sat at the other end of the sofa…. It was the first time i had a good look at the girl…. She is beautiful…. No doubt… Also in her eyes i could c the confidence which i admire …. i could c that she had the courage to stand up and face the ‘tough’ situation (It was tough for me)…. It eased out the pressure i was under….. I thought a girl at 21 would be too shy to talk rather at that particular moment i thought that its ok as she looked pretty cool and composed with what all was going on…. I sat there and exchanged a smile and was left speechless as to what to say…. for some 2/3 seconds i guess both of us were getting settled…. I don’t exactly recall how all started…. I think the talk started by me saying that I thought that the girl whom i came to c was the one on the first floor Both of us smiled and she told that everyone mistakes her to be the elder one…..or Maybe i told her that her home is pretty nice and about her room…. She said that the purple one on the first floor was hers…. I then i guess apologized for the torn informal clothes i was wearing…. She said with a smile its ok…. I asked about her college…. Chat went on pretty Ok…. we discussed about our respective lives, hobbies, choices, likes-dislikes…. movies…. etc.. etc… I think i was the main contibutor but she too was pretty open to talk and i liked that in her…. she didn’t do that well in her examinations but she stood by it and took responsibility of it honestly…. I liked that quality of her very much…. Study and marks are superficial things…. Most imp thing is whether the other person likes to face the storm or look for cover…. She stood firm….. Lucky me….. Till that time i wasn’t considering it sincerely but then i realized she’s a lot matured for her age and I should start thinking it with a lot more seriousness…..

We talked about movies – she likes action and thrill movies so we shared some of our best ones…. Discussed about college life and even bf/gfs…. Anyways it rounded up well and we left…. No comments on what i felt after it…. or what i thought of her afterwards…. But after giving a lot of thought to the events that occured I will say that the meet was pretty immature…. the events that followed were pretty much the same…. lets c how all go further…. I need time…. I need time to forget the past and focus on present….

About Me…. the credulous Gujju

I have no doubt that even though i m 23 years of age the child inside me is the main actor. I like to play games, roam around, ponder about things that a kid likes, take challenges…. I know that people like doing it but from my experience i have come to know that i have the passion for these a little more that what a normal guy has…. Guys generally are supposed to be adventure freaks but i find myself to be crossing the limit each time…. Whether it be FMPs or driving or TT or even office….

Only an external person can analyse whether its ok or not but from my point of view one thing which i can take advantage of is that I am malleable…. Am a lot more flexible than most of other guys…. I know that I am credulous and get easily excited by the near happenings… E.g. for a couple of days after an F1 race, it seems like the jam-packed Bangalore streets are a part of SilverStone circuit… E.g. I feel like when’ll i meet my Kate Benkinsale of Serendipity movie…. or after seeing Basic Instinct 2 one feels that the world is full of bitches and the best thing one can do is become a misogynist or brahmachari and never have the door ajar for any girl to come into one’s life…. Its like a DCH’s Saif Ali Khan type personality where he likes each and every girl he comes in contact with…. Me too am waiting for that Sonali of mine to come…. lets c…. notable difference between saif of DCH and me is that he managed to make good friends with them but in my case ‘ladkhiya ghas ka ek patta bhi nahi daalti’ kya kare…. Gulshan grover style personality jo hai

If someone has had patience to read this much, then he/she must have realized that by ‘normal’ standards i m a weirdo who doesn’t even have the sense of what one should write publicly and what one shouldn’t…. i have had this conversation for hours with my friends who ask me to be a little prudent with what i write…. my reply has been pretty straight and simple…. i don’t like to present any facades or masks…. i be what i m…. like it or not this is what i am…. Vulgarly open…. i don’t like to be Dr Jekyll…. Mr Hyde is fine for me so one thing you can expect from all my blogs is honesty….

Cheers as always Always have quality time